One Fine Day
The sheer perfectness of the day was infectious. Even the usually bickersome Sam and Bridgette were mellow today. No amount of shouting or unexpected tests could put a damper in their mood. And if those two were in a good mood, then everyone was in a good mood.
Clive was in a terrible mood.
Finn could tell that easily. Clive’s usually drowsiness had a certain weight to it today. His head hung lower and, when he rested his head on his desk during class, he didn’t sleep like usual. His eyes were open and he had even been blowing on his pencil, letting it roll back and forth as if he couldn’t stand to be trapped with only his thoughts. While everyone else was enjoying themselves and talking about their plans for after school, Clive was miserable and all Finn could do was watch!
Then disaster struck. Finn planned to talk to Clive during their break period, but got held back to be congratulated by Ms. Bloom over his latest test results. Finn wished he’d failed like usual so he could be outside just seconds sooner. By the time he’d raced out the building, Clive was gone and nobody had noticed where he went.
So Finn waited the rest of the school day, distracted by the woods outside. He couldn’t prove it, but he knew Clive well enough that it was certain. He’d run out into the woods during break and it didn’t look like he was coming back during class. As much as Clive loved nature photography, Finn knew he wouldn’t leave in the middle of a school day for it. Something was wrong and each moment until Finn could figure out what passed with torturous length. It felt like days passed in the remaining three hours of school.
The second the bell rang, Finn exploded from his seat. Out of school, off the campus, right into the woods! He cupped his hands to his mouth and called his closest friend’s name as he raced between the trees. As certain he was that Clive was here, the woods were large and sometimes maze-like. There was no telling where his friend could be.
“Clive! Clive!” Finn continued to shout half an hour into his search. He entered a clearing filled with a rainbow’s worth of roses, lilies, and even sunflowers that lined the edge of it. As much as he’d love to admire the beauty of this hidden garden, there was no time. “Clive! Cli-- Whoa!”
Finn was so concerned with covering as much ground that he could, he completely neglected to check the ground in front of him. It was only a matter of time before he tripped on a tree root and was sent falling, he realized. Except, no. He was in the middle of a clearing. What had he tripped on?
Finn picked himself from the dirt and turned around. There laid Clive, his face dug into the ground, submerged in a grave of yellow daffodils and ready to be buried. Finn sighed and let himself smile. Despite the circumstances, the sight did make him want to laugh.
“Hey silly,” Finn said, trying to mix kindness and delicacy into his concerned tone. He bent and placed a comforting hand on his downed friend’s back. “What are you doing out here?”
Clive grunted something Finn couldn’t comprehend and, after a moment of silence, moved his mouth away from the ground and said more clearly, “Photosynthesizing.”
Finn sat beside him and ruffled his hair. He hoped Clive didn’t mind. Times like this had happened before and, as much as he said it embarrassed him, Clive also said it helped calm him down. Plus, he was responding, even if it looked like it would be mostly grunts, so it wasn’t as bad as it had been before.
“Did something happen?” Finn asked.
Clive grunted out something that definitely meant No.
“Just feeling down?”
A grunt that meant Yes.
“How down?”
Clive grunted deeply. He must be doing real bad, Finn thought. Even when he had those times he couldn’t even talk, he never abandoned school like this.
“Wanna talk about it?”
Clive thought for a moment, but grunted No.
“Do you want to be alone?”
“No.” Drowsy as it was, he had made the effort to pick his face up for a moment and make it clear what he wanted.
No, Finn thought, not what he wanted. He usually wanted to be alone during his breakdowns. If he was being so explicit about him being here, then Finn needed him here. So Finn smiled and continued to lightly pet his friend’s hair, every so often asking if Clive wanted anything else to which the answer was always no.
It must have been over an hour before Clive, in a voice so mournful that not even his usual monotone could hide it, asked, “Why weren’t you outside during break?”
“Ms. Bloom held me back,” Finn sadly said. “I wanted to ask what was wrong, but you were gone before I got out. I’ve been worrying about you all day, you know.” He laughed that last bit out, but Clive wasn’t in a laughing mood. Instead, he returned his face to the dirt and groaned.
Finn stopped everything about herself; his hand from stroking Clive’s head, the beating of his heart, even his own breathing. The breath trapped inside him weighed down on his stomach as he thought if what he wanted to do was right. After a moment, he let the breath out and took the plunge. “Clive? Are you sure something didn’t happen?”
“It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. Come on, what happened?”
Clive took a deep breath. “A bird. It was pecking at something and woke me up.”
“And it gave you a headache?”
“And it kept going. Even when I left home. In my head. I can still hear it.”
“I see.”
Finn thought he understood it. Every now and then, a sound would be like a pin pricking at his head. For Clive, Finn could only imagine it was like the bird itself was pecking him, and for so many hours. It must have been a steady, tense backing melody to his day. At least, that’s how it could feel to Finn. An unsteady song being played on his heartstrings, making everything feel more tense and every problem so much worse until it all came crashing down on him.
Except Finn realized that Clive was different. Instead of tiny holes being punctured into him until he deflated, it was much more like a toy being wound up. Little things turning the key over and over and over until it stopped, unable to turn any more but refusing to unwind itself. Wound to the point of breaking.
But just like Clive picked him up on his bad days, Finn was determined to pick him up on his. “Do you want to go home? I can move the bird’s nest so you can relax.”
“I wanna take photos.” Despite saying this, he didn’t move.
“But you’re too wound up to?”
“Mmm.”
“And you left school because Sam and Bridgette were all louder than usual talking about their plans for the afternoon and now you’re really overwhelmed.”
“Mhmm.” Silence passed. “I was excited. It’s a nice day.”
Finn nodded and wrapped his hand around Clive’s, knowing he wished it would turn dark and rainy so he wasn’t wasting it. “You’re right. It is a nice day.”
The silence returned as Finn held Clive’s hand, occasionally pressing down on it to remind him he was still there. Eventually, Clive spoke again. “Sorry I ruined your afternoon.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. We were going to be out here anyways. The only difference is that we’re lying down today.”
“I made you worry.”
“I should have gone after you instead of waiting! And I’m gonna make that up to you. I’m gonna stay by your side, no matter how long, until you feel okay again. Un-- Unless you want to be alone, of course, but--”
“It’s fine.” He squeezed Finn’s hand as tight as he could. “Please don’t go.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
The sun continued to travel across the sky and the wind blew through them like a shy ghost. The next time either would speak, the sun would have gone from right above them to being an hour’s walk to the horizon. But Finn didn’t care and, as needlessly guilty Clive felt about keeping him, he didn’t want to let him go. In this time, they would both find themselves thinking of the same memory. A day just like this from two years ago, before they had truly become friends.
They’d known each other of course, but Clive hadn’t thought he’d find his overly-excitable classmate face-down in the school garden. He couldn’t just leave Finn like that.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Becoming bug food,” Finn said.
Clive stayed by Finn’s side, trying to get a better explanation. It was a failed test and thus another tutoring session, but he had tried this time! If he couldn’t pass one lousy test while trying his best, what more worth did he have than dirt? Except dirt could give plants nutrients, so he was even worse than that. But Clive kept with him and helped keep those thoughts at bay, going so far out of his comfort zone to hold the hand of a boy he didn’t know but obviously needed some kind of warm touch. It was when Clive eventually said he failed too and could use some tutoring as well that Finn finally cheered up a little. He managed to pick himself up and they spent the afternoon on a bench, fluctuating between talking about what felt like everything and absolute silence. Still, the comfort remained and that was all they needed.
Even now, as the sun strolled into the clouds and the wind began to pick up, the comfort remained. As the clouds took hold of the sky and the warm turned to cold, the comfort remained. As small droplets of rain began to hit their heads, the comfort remained. As Clive picked himself up from the daffodils and brought Finn with him, the comfort remained.
“We should go,” he said, though with a lingering sadness in his voice.
“I think I know what you’re thinking,” Finn said with a smile. “You still wanna take some pics.”
“Yeah,” Clive drawled out.
Finn tightened his hold of Clive’s hand and pulled him forward to the tree line. “Well then come on! No use in letting such a nice day go to waste!”
“It’s starting to rain.”
“We shouldn’t let the weather determine if a day is nice or not. The only ones who can say if a day is good are us, and I want today to be a happy one. So let’s go!”
Finn led Clive forward into the rainy, windy, beautiful day ahead of them. Despite the storm, Clive found himself in a tired joy as they raced for bugs in the rain and danced in the wind. They’d both be sick come morning. They’d both need tutoring for the week of school they missed because of it. And they’d both be together for it, supporting each other all the way.
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